Fuzzco welcomes some wonderful new people.

Ben Jacobs / When you meet this guy you might take note of how equine he seems in form and grace. You’re not crazy, Ben is one of the few fully-grown and fully-employed human beings raised entirely by horses. To this day he speaks fluent horse and spends much of his time with his four-legged pals, neighing and bucking and pawing the soil. His knowledge of the equine arts doesn’t relate directly to his daily duties here at Fuzzco, but it sure doesn’t hurt.

Bryan Couchman / Bryan’s been growing and we don’t know what to do about it. He started out pretty big to begin with, with a big bushy beard, and just kept going, not outward but up.  It was cool and interesting and funny when we first noticed but now it doesn’t seem like it’s going to end. Today his head brushes our highest ceilings and he has to sit down on the floor in front of his desk to work at his computer. No one wants to give him a hug because he can’t help but hurt us.  Soon he won’t be able to fit in the building. Sorry Bryan.

Cory Etzkorn / Cory can most often be found in a cave. Large ones, small ones, dripping or dry, he loves them all. He yearns for the inky hollows and the depthless caverns, crawling as close to the earth’s core as he can to sit and stare and sometimes sing softly to himself in the dark. Why Cory, why would you rather be down in a cave than out in the greater world? “I don’t know why,” he says, “do I have to know why?” No Cory, you don’t.

Just kidding. Read the real bios and peep their faces here.